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A Conference to Remember

My cousin and I went to Atlanta, Georgia for a Woman's Conference. We stayed at a very nice hotel in downtown Atlanta.

On our way over, we talked about a story that was on 60 minutes, which was about hotel rooms and how they had discovered some pretty disguisting facts about how dirty a hotel room can be; such as dirty linens, semen discovered on the walls when they used a black light, used condoms under the bed and an array of other wonderful discoveries!

Our room by all appearances, seemed very nice and clean. We spent the next day in the conference and settled into our room for the evening. That evening, we turned the air on because we both suffer from an occassional hot flash. My cousin has Crohn's disease and was needing something for constipation. I had some laxatives I had gotten from the health food store and I gave her a couple of my pills.

The next morning when we woke up, the pills had started working on my cousin. She was in the bathroom doing her business and freezing from the cold room. So I got up barefooted and proceeded over to the thermostat. I tripped on the curtains and felt a squish between my toes. I looked down and there was some kind of squishy rubber thing between my toes and under my foot.

I yelled for my cousin to come see what was on my foot. I could not tell for sure and I was NOT going to touch it!

She opened the bathroom door while still sitting on the toilet. I told her I thought I had a used condom on my foot. She said the laxatives I had given her were working too good and she could not get off the toilet. So I hobbled over to the bed. Once I got to the bed, I started laughing uncontrollable. Laughter is very contagious and my cousin started to laugh also. I wish I had a camera at that very moment. Here we are two middle aged ladies in a hotel room laughing like hyenas, one is on the toilet with the door open and the other lying on the bed with a used condom stuck to her foot.

Then my cousin has this brainstorm. She said "Hand me the phone and I will call the hotel manager" I said "I don't thinks so. What are we going to tell them? Come to our room and remove a condom off the bottom of my foot?"

After we regained our composure, I removed the condom from my foot and we got dressed for the conference. The only other problem I had that day was my occassional laugh when I thought about our episode from that morning. My poor cousin was not as fortunate. She had the worse case of gas and everytime she would laugh she would poot.

Theresa Adams
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