Home Page - Women's Funny Pictures

Women's Funny Videos

Click here for more Funny Jokes

Recieve new funnies weekly

The Zen of Sarcasm

1. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
leaky tire .

2. It's always darkest before dawn . So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

3. Don't be irreplaceable . If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

4. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else .

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet .

6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments .

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
have their shoes .

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably a wise investment.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield .

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them .

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket .

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot .

16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark
side, and it holds the universe together .

17. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving .

19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

20. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

21. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night ..