Redneck Medical Definitions

 

1.    Artery:                              the study of paintings.
2.    Bacteria:                         back door to the cafeteria.
3.    Barium:                           what doctors do when patients die.
4.    Cauterize:                       made eye contact with her.
5.    Dilate:                              to live long.
6.    Enema:                           not a friend.
7.    G.I. Series:                      world series of military baseball.
8.    Hangnail:                         what you hang your coat on.
9.    Impotent:                         distinguished, well known.
10.  Medical Staff:                a doctor's cane.
11.  Morbid:                         a higher offer.
12.  Nitrates:                        cheaper than day rates.
13.  Node:                            knew it.
14.  Outpatient:                    a person who has fainted.
15.  Pap Smear:                  a fatherhood test.
16.  Pelvis:                           second cousin to Elvis.
17.  Recovery Room:          place to do upholstery.
18.  Rectum:                        pretty near killed him.
19.  Terminal illness:           getting sick at the airport.
20.  Tumor:                           one plus one more.
21.   Urine:                            opposite of "You're out."

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